Ticks = GROSS!!

Not all vampires look like Robert Pattison!

Ticks freak me the heck out! I never thought too much about them before this month, other than I knew they could give you Lyme disease. And really, all I knew about Lyme Disease is that it could make you go absolutely crazy like the girl from The Real World many years ago. In one of the only episodes I ever watched, a brunette girl flipped out on one of her roommates, started beating on him and dang near foaming at the mouth! Then when confronted about it, she blamed it on the fact that she had Lyme disease. Sob story ensued, etc. After seeing that, I made a mental note to steer clear of Ticks.

Tick bite = Lyme Disease = Certifiably Nuts

But it really wasn't until I recently watched a Animal Planet show on Moose from Alaska that cemented my fear. I don't know why we were watching it, except I remember wanting to show the kids how huge moose actually are, and then we all were totally sucked into the awesome moose information flying our way. We are weird like that I guess. So anyway, part way through the show they showed how these tiny little flea size ticks would crawl to the top of these tall weeds, and wait for an unsuspecting moose to pass by. When they did, the little vampires would attach themselves and then suck the 900 lb. moose dry. Thousands of these itsy bitsy bugs could literally drain it's blood until it died!!! And seeing them all engorged just made me want to puke. Completely lose my lunch all over the room, and vomit up everything I have ever eaten-or will ever eat! I had to look away. I couldn't stomach looking at the screen with all those bugs on the dead carcass. But that was it! I was creeped out by seeing the massive amount of ticks, now I have developed a very real fear of the little crawling leaches.

Then two weeks ago when I went to pick up Alan and the boys at a friend's house, after they had gotten back from camping, it only got worse. Living out in the country has certain perks, but a serious downside is these gross bugs. I don't know if their dog went camping with them, or it got them from the yard alone-all I know is I watched as our friend pulled one after another off the dog, and smashed them between two boards. Let me tell you, these boards looked like they belonged in a crime scene! They were so bloody, they honestly could have been murder weapons. He said he had pulled off some 30 or so ticks from this poor dog, and he was finding more every time he looked. I have no idea how this dog was even moving with all the blood he had lost. I was horrified, and totally checked the baggage and the kids all over for them when we got home.

I am terrified to let the kids wander outside, go in the woods, or even grass that is taller than 3-4 inches. It is a full blown phobia at this point. One that I don't see getting any better, anytime soon. Not until we move out of the country, at least . Until then, I will live in fear of finding bugs burrowed into my children that I can't just pull out because their heads will remain in them. Why is that necessary?!? I have to put a burning match up to my kids' skin to get it off? Seems a bit extreme. So instead, I just don't have the boys go where ticks might hide. Freaky little predators, hopefully will never meet me face to face. I honestly don't think I could handle it. Instead of helping my offspring, I might in all reality, run away from them instead. Not very maternal of me. I hope to never have to cross that bridge. I'd like to have the kids think they can count on me to be brave in every circumstance. Let them wait a few years to find out that I'm a total wuss when it comes to certain gross bugs. Ignorance is bliss.