Alan. The man. The myth.......

I was thinking today about how I always harp on Alan for things he does "wrong", or "different", or "weird". When we were dating, I gave him a hard time because he said "Pacific, and Pacifically" instead of "Specific, and Specifically". He really did. He doesn't anymore.

Miles' mouth is kinda crazy here, but I love this one of Alan.

After we were married I saw how he folds clothes, or doesn't fold them. We had shelves on the wall instead of a dresser, and my side was always like, "Look at me and my awesome folding skills! All lined up, like a Champ! Could I be any cooler?!?" His side looked like a wombat had come in and angrily tore through his clothes, trying to find the keys to his little wombat car before realizing "Hey, I'm a little Australian woodland creature, and therefore  I don't drive a car", so he just gives up and goes into the kitchen for a snack. Alan rolls his clothes, people! He's all like, "I don't feel like folding, and rolling is so much easier to do-and sort of enjoyable. I'll just do that. Plus I think these pants want to be friends with the shirts up here, and why don't I just set this sweatshirt across all of these clothes. I don't want them to be cold, or anything." (Actually, he's probably more like, "Meh." *toss*) Problem is, he greatly underestimated my need for control and order while being a bed-ridden pregnant person. I had to spend a lot of time in our room, and looking at his rolled-or simply tossed clothes, drove me crazy! When he did attempt to fold them, it was just wrong. It wasn't my way, so I couldn't handle it, and he was banned. From ever folding laundry again. I don't mind. I like doing laundry. (Don't judge me if you come over though-as much as I like doing it, the sheer amount of laundry I have now overwhelms me. It is pretty much an avalanche, waiting to devour me when I try to actually do some laundry before the kids run out of underwear.) But, Alan is in charge of putting his own clothes away, since I have nearly passed out a few times just by seeing the condition of his unorganized, clothes-just-shoved-in-all-willy-nilly dresser drawers. I honestly can't handle it.

Alan and the boys enjoying a water-gun fight in  Utah.

I let him put together a book shelf once. Once. I thought he was doing fabulous; peeking over every once in  a while from my own entertainment center project to check his progress. I was so proud when he exclaimed "I'm done!" from across the room. I went to check it out, and saw that all the boards had been put on upside-down, so all the little metal hardware was showing. I can't describe the panic I felt at seeing this-making this Walmart bookshelf that we had spent our wedding money on, less than perfect. I was totally about to grab the hammer and screwdrivers out of his hand, and become a beast of nightmarish proportions when I just stopped for a second, took a deep breath and thought to myself "Wait. This was an accident. He didn't mean to mess it up. Relax." Which I did. And after the initial shock, I did calm down and started laughing. I didn't change a thing either. I kept that bookshelf that way to remind me to never ask for his help building anything again. Now he is in charge of ALL car repair/maintenance and I take care of the inside of the house. Building stuff-wise.

Alan has a way of pushing me to that edge sometimes, where I literally want to rip his ears off and feed them to baby lions. He can push my buttons in a way that nobody can, on their worst day. BUT, that being said-I realize that he can only do this because I care what he thinks. When he calls me on something, I get embarrassed. When he puts down something I do/say I feel ashamed. When he's angry at me, I am worried that he just might think "Forget it! She's not worth it" and just walk away. He also can make my day by saying that he loves me. He can make me laugh by just hearing his giggle. He makes me feel like I'm his favorite thing in the world when he gives me his big hug. I completely love him, and am so glad I married him.

He is a great husband/father/friend. He does the dishes most days. He will pick up (every once in a while) without having to be asked. He knows practically everything about cars, and helps out my friends and family when they need "car" advice, and/or repair. He is just fun to be around. He likes to take the boys to the park, so I don't have to. He bakes me birthday cakes. Maybe he can't build shelves, fold clothes or follow simple "Tammy" directions, but he is easy to draw pictures of-and that gives me and the kids hours of fun. And he doesn't care about me changing the furniture around all the time, or having "less than manly" blankets on the bed.  He is pretty much cooler than any perfect looking shelf I could ever have. And that is saying a lot.

Thanks for working so hard for our family, Babe. You are truly appreciated! (But, in case I ever do ask you to do something for me, and you are confused-PLEASE don't hesitate to pick up the phone and call me. It will be easier on us both!) Smooches!

Signs pt. deux

Didn't quite make it.

This sign must be in San Francisco. This is why I was always lost there.....

Maybe someone should tell him....

This is either an unsanitary porn-laden restaurant, or owned by Chinese hating racists....Either way, probably has great Chow Mein.

Nice.

Typical bird. Taunting you with their apathy.

This makes me think of my brothers.....you know who you are.

Grrrr. Arf, Arf. *sniff crotch*

I just like this one.

Falls under, "Thank you, Captain Obvious. I would have been utterly stunned as to why the road was not repelling the water during a storm if I had not seen this sign. Thank you very much for warning me, so I may avoid those unpleasant few seconds of panic."

Go ahead........try it. You know you want to. We'll see how long it takes them to respond once you do fall in.

Apparantly nobody taught this person that the hand that makes the correct "L" is, in fact, the left. Perhaps this could have been avoided if someone had.

Pretty self-explanatory.

Hee, hee.

In Chinese this translates to "Wrong F**King Bookstore"

Pretty cruel sign placement.

Welcome to America, people.

If this is true, at least you know that their food is delicious.

Well, you could look at this like "STOP. It's the end of this blog. But since there are plenty of older entries, please read on..."

I'm so excited....

My mind never rests. It's a fact. When I'm in bed, trying my hardest to sleep, my mind is thinking about all the things I could do the next day. Or how I can re-arrange the furniture in the front room, so that the A/C is felt better. Or, I am just in one of my "crafty moods" where I must be doing something with my hands. I have the need to create things, it doesn't matter if it's drawings, something out of sculpty, painting shirts, or restoring a porch swing (that I got off of FREECYCLE.ORG and am completely in love with!!), My body thinks that it would be a travesty to sleep, and waste all this time that I could be making something-so it refuses to calm down enough for me to catch some shut eye. I am full of nervous energy that doesn't go away until I grab some paper and make a list of things to accomplish tomorrow, or draw the pictures swirling around in my head.

I'm feeling very ambitious, of late. I have grand ideas for all sorts of decorations, and the ornaments I'm making for the boys and Alan. I'm making them a miniature version of the Sears Tower from Chicago. I have a prototype that I made from wood scraps and toothpicks that actually looks quite good. It was fairly easy to make I suppose, the hardest part was drawing the thing from Google pictures and not getting confused as to which side I was looking at. I think I got it though, and I'm very happy with it. What do you think?

They will look way cooler when they get painted, trust me....this is just the 1st draft, so to speak.

 It was fun to make, which is good since I need to make 5 of them-and I am learning what I want to keep and what I want to change about it. Also, one of the projects I'm super excited about is an advent calendar I'm going to attempt to make. I am in love with this one I saw online, but since I don't have the $45 + shipping to fork over for it, I am inspired to try and make my own. Mine will be better though, since I can have the world, and put all the little Flag People around it. I can put the 24 days/people in a well balanced manner, which suits my OCD compulsion to have things even. I have it drawn out and most likely will be working on it for the next year or so, since it is highly detailed, but I am determined to do it.

I don't know why I love things that bring all different countries into one fabulous project, so much. Maybe it is my desire to travel the world, and meet as many people as I possibly can in my life, or the fact that it is just different cultures getting along together. World peace-on my living room wall!! I'm like the United Nations of Christmas Decor. Those who know me personally can just look at my little family and know I am all about mixing cultures, and just plain getting along. I'm glad I was born in a time/place that doesn't kill me for wanting this. My kids will learn about their ancestors, and I think they are handsome representations of the different ethnic backgrounds! Just check out their skin color. Gorgeous!!!

Every year I make ornaments for them, and buy one too. I loved getting a new ornament every year while I was growing up, whether I made it or my mom got it for us. She did it so when we were old enough to move out, our trees wouldn't be empty. Plus it is just a fun little tradition. So, naturally I take that tradition, and raise it one ornament. More is always better, right? Okay, I suppose not always, but when it comes to Christmas decorations, I'd have to say this statement is 100% true!! Also, it fills my "have to do something productive with these hands" need. I usually pick something that they are very into that year to represent where they were at that particular point in their lives, and make them something personalized for them. Then I buy them something they like too. That way they have a back up in case something happens to one of them, that the "Ornament E.R." can't fix. (We seriously do have a space in the house designated for this. All broken ornaments come here to be glued back together, and "healed". My Han Solo is a amputee survivor, and is doing very well these days. Thanks for asking.) Some things can't be fixed-like the Plex I made Nathan last year. He loved it so much he kept carrying it around with him. I told him that Plex needs to stay on the tree so he doesn't break. He figured if Plex did break, I would just make him another one. Well, guess what....he did break, and Nathan figured wrong. He carried the broken carcass around for a few weeks, until I just threw it away. He had lost everything but the torso by that point, and it was a little sad to see.

R.I.P Plex the robot ornament from Yo Gabba Gabba. You will be missed.

I am looking forward to getting started on really building the "towers" over the next few days. My list for tomorrow consists of trying to find long 1/4 in x 1/4 in wood pieces so I can cut them, & make Those tiny Chicago landmarks. Short lists are always wonderful. Wish me luck!

Star Light, Star Bright, Please Don't Let Me Get Eaten Tonight......

There have been meteor showers for the past 2 days. I love meteor showers!! I remember going out to our neighbors sidewalk and laying down for hours watching them with my brothers and sisters while I was growing up. Now I am attempting to do this with my kids, as sort of an "August" tradition. I forgot to do it last night, and ended up going outside myself about 2:30 a.m. to watch them. It was really dark, and we live in the boondocks, so I got scared. I only lasted about 3 minutes on our gravel driveway before I worried about being attacked by something. So, I came in the house and went to the safety of the back porch, but there wasn't much of a view. I propped myself up in a chair and attempted to get comfy. Didn't happen. I was having to twist myself into contortionist-like poses to get a good view of the sky, and I was still nervous being outside by myself. I know I am a grown woman, but animals can feast on my "grown woman" body after catching me by surprise with a sneak attack. I saw a few great meteors, and made it about 30 minutes this time, before packing it in and almost running into the house.

So tonight I thought I'd take the kids out there with me-safety in numbers, right? We got a sleeping bag, and walked out to the best spot of the driveway so we would have a huge, uninterrupted view of the sky. We got situated, laid down, and started to watch the stars. At least I did. Nathan was buried into my side, wanting to go inside because he was scared. Ben and Nick were trying to out do each other with the sheer number of random questions they were throwing at me. Here is a small example of actual quetions:

"Will the meteors crash into the stars?"

"How big are stars in real life?"

"What if a meteor the size of the planet Mars hit a star?"

"I saw a satellite, with mirrors all over it because it was so close to earth. Was that a satellite I saw?"

"Why can't I see any of them? Where'd they go?"

"If I wish on a shooting star, will it come true?"

"Hey! They are moving too fast! How do you wish on them?"

"Are we sleeping out here?"

"If you were taking a shower with meteors, would you really die?"

"Where is the Milky Way? All I see is fog." (He was seeing the Milky way and didn't know it.)  

I was trying to shush them, since we had neighbors and they were talking rather loudly. I should have let them talk because I soon started hearing animal movement to my left-about 15 feet from where we were laying. We have a fence that separates the highway from the property, and has a slope up. The landlord has built an irrigation thing into the side of the little hill to use it to water the plants here. Apparently, it's the place to give the nocturnal predators a drink too. I was getting nervous, because it was so close, and I was on the end....so I listened a bit more and decided it was on the other side of the fence, and we should be fine. We kept watching the stars, and I got feasted on by mosquitoes. A few minutes later we were visited by a bat that was swooping down and dive bombing us. I told the kids to lay still and it wouldn't get them. I was happy to have my little flying friend eat the stupid bloodsuckers that were making a meal of me, but a few times I did kind of have a second of panic when it came within a foot of my face. 

My furry little, bug eating friend.

We had laid out there about 30 more minutes when I started to hear the movement again....this time on my side of the fence, about 10 feet from us. I didn't want to scare the kids so I grabbed my tiny key chain flashlight and aimed it at the bushes and tall grass. I didn't see any glowing eyes peering at us, but now the kids were hearing it. I said not to worry, but I really wanted to leave everything out there and run for my life! I told them it was time to go inside, and quickly grabbed the sleeping bag and started walking away. Before retreating, I shined the light again to check for eyes, but thankfully saw none. It did sound like it was coming closer, so I turned and we did run. Done star watching for the night!

I certainly didn't want to be surprised  by this.....

or this.....

or this

definitely not this.......

All of which are native to this area. I didn't feel like having me and the boys be late night snacks for hungry night creatures, so I chickened out. Now I'm missing an awesome meteor shower, I'm sure. Tradition started-but I'll enjoy it more when we live closer to a city. What you lose in ability to see the stars as clearly, you gain in being able to live out your life uneaten. I know they say that all these animals are more scared of you, than you are of them & that they only eat small animals, not people. Well, the people who have been eaten aren't here to disagree, so does that automatically make it so? I'm inclined to think, NO. I will err on the side of caution, and stay safe inside. Plus, they obviously weren't too scared to try walking up to us!

It was fun while it lasted though.

I'm Thankful

I don't know what has got me thinking today, but today I am feeling really grateful. For everything. Sure, things aren't perfect. Yes, we could use more money, a bigger car, and maybe no ants invading our house for one day (please Lord, just one day)!! But no matter what we need, I can think of so many things that I do have that other's out there wish everyday for, so I am putting it out to the Universe. I am thankful.

I am Thankful for my kids-even when they are bad, screaming, and driving me crazy because there are people out there who can't have any children, and my heart just breaks for them.  

I am Thankful for the house we live in, because we have a very sweet landlord, who keeps the rent low enough for us to afford it! Many people, especially in this economy don't have anywhere to sleep. Thank you Norval, for our home.

I am thankful Alan has 2 jobs! There are plenty of people, myself included, who are looking for work and can't find any. I have many family and friends in this situation, and it really is a daily struggle. I am just very thankful Alan has a chance to have two secure jobs, so we can survive. 

I am very Thankful for family! I was very blessed with the family I grew up in, and I seem to have also been lucky in the family I married into. Both are so full of love for each other, that we would do anything possible to help whenever anyone is in need. Family is everything.

I love song lyrics. I have pages & pages of different song lyrics written down in a journal because they say so much of the things I think, but they say it a lot better. Two songs that I absolutely Love are Because I have been given much & Josh Groban's Thankful. The hymn is actually something I have always tried to live my life by.....a "life motto" of sorts. Simple and to the point. It has been my favorite since I was a kid, and now that I have heard Josh's song (which I actually have typed and framed) They are both always very much on my mind. Here are the words so you can see why I love them......(and a video to hear "Thankful" in case you never have. Beautiful song!!)

Thankful

Somedays we forget

To look around us

Somedays we can't see

The joy that surrounds us

So caught up inside ourselves

We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be.

And on this day we hope for

What we still can't see.

It's up to us to be the change

And even though we all can still do more

There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves

There's so much sorrow

It's way too late to say

I'll cry tomorrow

Each of us must find our truth

It's so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be

And every day we hope for

What we still can't see

It's up to us to be the change

And even though we all can still do more

There's so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences

There is a place we're all connected

Each of us can find each other's light

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be

And on this day we hope for

What we still can't see

It's up to us to be the change

And even though this world needs so much more

There's so much to be thankful for

Because I have been given much

Because I have been given much, I too must give.

Because of thy great bounty, Lord each day I live.

I shall divide my gifts from thee with every brother that I see, who has the need of help from me.

Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care

I cannot see another’s lack and I not share

My glowing fire, my loaf of bread-my roof’s safe shelter over head, that he too may be comforted.

Because I have been blessed by thy great love dear Lord,

I’ll share thy love again according to thy word.

I shall give love to those in need. I’ll show that love by word and deed, thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.

Song lyrics are powerful when you pay attention to the message they have. Feel blessed with everything in your lives, and love what you already have. Tell all your loved ones how much you love them, and appreciate them everyday. They are what make life worth living.

Weight of the world...literally.

I love shopping. Perhaps, it's the female DNA that is entangled throughout my body, I'm not entirely sure, but I love it! It doesn't even matter to me if I'm getting the most basic & boring necessity, birthday shopping for someone else, getting groceries or it's just window shopping; for me it's just getting out there and looking at the possibilities! But, truth be told-it really is much better when I have money to spend!

I have noticed though, that there are some very manic feelings when it comes to me and shopping. The "I love it, I love it, I love it..." feeling of walking through, and touching everything-all the while telling the kids to keep their hands to themselves. (I know-I am totally the mom used as examples of what NOT to do in every parenting book out there.) The almost "high" I get from walking through the isles can disappear in a second, and come crashing down, to an almost suicidal-complete disgust in myself-by adding one tiny little factor into the mix. Clothes shopping for ME! I adore walking through the store looking for clothes for the boys, even Alan-who I can just basically buy "off the rack" for. Whatever they need-the store will have it in their size. Guaranteed! This does not happen for me. Being "Plus size" is not like the little something extra that the name implies. It's not a bonus, it's a tragedy. I have to shop at expensive stores that make unflattering, tight fitting, low cut, short clothes that are clearly not meant to be worn by somebody over 120 lbs. The designer probably had a laugh when they were making the clothes, just imagining how the customers would look after buying their awful clothes. They are former bullies, who apparently still get their jollies from torturing less genetically fortunate people than them. Is it too much to ask for to have shirts with real sleeves? Sleeves that go all the way down to the elbow? Or to have a skirt that doesn't show off your "lady bits" when you sit down? I mean really! And, why are there only a few stores that carry plus size? Do the bigger clothes offend the smaller, cuter clothes that have to be forced to share floor space with? Mostly I have to order clothes online, and who knows if that will fit? Is it really that hard to make a little space in your stores to put some "larger" sizes in? Target? How about you Walmart? Oh, I know you guys say you have plus sized clothes, but those are a joke. I think they were meant for the kids section. Be generous when cutting your fabric, it's embarrassing enough having to shop in the double digits, why do you have to taunt us by making everything the smaller end of the size, so we have to actually buy the next size up?

Hey. Psst, Fashion Industry.....I have a secret to tell you, something that is a mere rumor, but I will confirm it right here, on my blog-today.....People who wear plus size clothes, especially the female "people"...........get this- have boobs. Big ones! Please make shirts that fit! I am tired of having to wear bed sheets because I can't find anything to cover these bad mamma-jammas.

Yes, large breasts are pretty shocking aren't they? Who knew some people had them naturally?!?

Ok, So I am frustrated with that. I went out to buy jeans yesterday at Store X, because it's our only "blessed with bulk" store in the vicinity, only to find that none of their stuff fits. It is not flattering at all to the curvy figure, and is mixed in with size zero stuff, because we all know how much gals like me love being reminded by the tiny denim underwear that they dare to call shorts, that we will never be that size. Don't get me wrong-they had my size, but it was all meant to be a fashion show for someone else-not a someone who values  comfort more than what the celebrities are wearing in the magazines these days, and tries to look like them. I don't need to please anyone but Alan, who loves me regardless-which I love him dearly for! (I remind him whenever I get depressed that He did this to me. If I didn't have the kids, I would have been way smaller.) All I need to do is have clothes that will stand up to the variety of abuses that Miles inflicts on my clothes daily. The greasy fingers, the runny nose, the dropped food......that is what I need! You (stores) not carrying the clothes we "big girls" want is not helping anybody. Nobody is losing weight sitting at the computer ordering your clothes. We need to be walking our butts into the store, perusing the merchandise and burning the calories while buying your stuff!

I guess what I'm saying is stores need to do a better job of having "Plus Sized" clothes that are functional, comfortable, affordable, and ACCESSIBLE!!! Oh, and cute too-we don't want to walk around in Mu mu's.

End of rant. I will say I did some fancy bill finagling today and was able to shop for the boys' school supplies and shoes. I got some sweet deals on the shoes! Payless' BOGO is a budgeting mothers dream. The boys found some awesome shoes, and I didn't feel like I needed to prostitute myself out just to pay for them. And even though the school list was excessively long, I think, Walmart came through and I was able to get everything on both lists for $23. I was a shopping genius today. The only thing that's going to top this is when I can finally start decorating my house for Halloween. Because as much as I adore shopping, I love decorating the house for Halloween/Christmas even more!! I'm counting down the days until it looks like Halloween threw up in my house!

Who, What, When, Where and Why? I have no clue.

It is amazing the amount of stuff that I don't know. The boys ask me questions all the time, and I hate not having answers. I have to admit, I do make things up sometimes when I can see that the answers will only lead to more things I don't know. One of their favorite things to ask is where a raccoon sleeps. I don't know this. They know that I don't know this, maybe they are seeing if I actually looked it up like I said I would. I still haven't. I don't know why some things go into my washer not too dirty but come out completely stained. I wish I knew this one-I would fix it if I did. I don't know how to change a car tire. Mr. Zino if by some freak accident you are reading this-look away. I did, in fact have my mom sign the paper without me actually "doing" that assignment. And the one time my tire went flat on the freeway, I called a tow truck, even though I had everything to do it in my trunk. That's what AAA is for, right? Now I'm married to a mechanic, so I doubt I will ever learn this. I know the theory behind it, but I don't really want to learn that. Maybe that's where some of my "knowledge deficiency" comes from, lack of interest. The rest of my missing smarts is just a mystery to me.

Sometimes I think my education was a waste of time. I watch the show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader and I'm ashamed to realize that actually, I'm not. This is quite embarrassing considering I passed 5th grade like 20+ years ago. Where does all that knowledge go? Is it true that you can only learn so much in your life before your brain just starts dumping out the older "less important" stuff? Who decides what gets tossed, and what stays? I really don't need to remember the song lyrics to songs that I hate, but I know those. That takes a lot of space, I'm sure. Space that could be better put to use with remembering perhaps the hammer my mom wanted me to bring over, or the iron, the remote, the cutting board and freezer paper, or Darby's shirt, the TV cables, and the formula. This is a list of all the stuff I have forgotten-Just today, and had to drive home for. I actually stopped coming home after the fourth trip, and just had to leave the shirt, cables, and remote for tomorrow. This is a daily annoyance. It is somewhat depressing to me to know that in about 3 years, My oldest child will know more than me. When did I lose my short term memory? At what point did my long term memory abandon ship? I'd really like both of those back.

I do know some stuff. I know the order of the planets from the sun.......Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. I know Pluto has been downgraded to a "Dwarf Planet", but that only makes me like it more. It's special now. Plus, it was always a planet, so them saying it isn't "Technically" a planet anymore doesn't phase me, it's a trend. In a few years, Pluto will be back stronger than before. Just watch.

I apparently know how to fix my computer a little. I just tried turning it on, a few times, and each time got that "blue screen of death" (as my friend Tamara once called it. Very fitting, now that I know the sense of panic associated with seeing it on the monitor!) So I re-started it, hit F8, put it into "safe mode" and went in and restored the system to a week ago. Now here I am! Internet access. By the way-Safe Mode looks an awful lot like the old computers of yore.....way back in the 80's when they were all green screened, with giant letters. It was weird, and took me back a little.

I am content knowing that I don't know everything. I don't need to. There was this little thing called "Google" that some genius out there came up with (a very rich genius now), a thing that I couldn't live without! What did I do before this?!? Pick up a dictionary? What is that?!? A cookbook? Where are we, the dark ages?!? All I do is type in whatever tickles my fancy:

"Google, can I please have the recipe for Enchiladas?"
"Of course you can, but why stop there? Here are 80, 000 enchilada recipes to choose from."

"Goolge, what is the name of the actor that is married to Scarlett Johansson?"
"You are so silly, that's Ryan Reynolds. Here are 1, 253, 800 pictures of him to drool over."
"Oh, Google! You know me so well. How about a Ryan Reynolds, Johnny Depp Mash up?
"As you wish..."

Um, drool much? These two are disgustingly handsome.

I have never found something this site didn't know. I have it on my phone for the questions I have all day. All but the raccoon one, because that would take a functioning short term memory. You can believe I am going to look it up when I'm done with this though. I already have my beloved website up, with it typed in......I'm so good!

I get that I'm not going to know everything, but retaining what I already learned really isn't too greedy to ask for, right? I don't think so. But, until I can figure out how to do that, I will worship the Google Godmother that makes me appear smart to my children. It's one of the only illusions I have over them. This, and Santa Claus, but even his days are numbered in this house. *Sigh*

Me, Me, always Me.

This doesn't really have anything to do with the blog today, I just love the picture! =)

You know, I started this Blog really to tell our far away friends and family about our lives, and keep them posted on the kids. Now that I am doing it, I find that most of my posts are about Me, stuff that I did, or random musings going on inside my overstimulated noggin-with a picture here and there of the boys. And since I don't think most of the far off family that this was intended for ever actually looks at this thing, I am officially changing it to be mine. The people following-few as there are-are all friends/family of me anyway, so this seems only fair. I'll still throw a splash or two in of the boys, and things Alan did to keep you  up, but I'm pretty much going to Declare this blog-Tammy's blog. There seems to be plenty of Mommy blogs out there anyways.

So, I will start off by saying-I learn time and time again that if I want something done right, I need to do it myself. Ok, so I don't really learn-otherwise I wouldn't keep asking Alan to do stuff, then would I? Probably not. I got another lesson today, which you'd think would make it sink in, but I highly doubt I won't stupidly ask him to do something important again in a week or so. Whatever......I was at my mom's house trying to round up the kids so I could get home and make dinner. I was going to be making my delicious homemade Mac 'n Cheese that we love, so I was anxious to get home and get started. I called him and the conversation went something like this (I'll spare you the Hello's, those are non-interesting...):

Him "So...........what's for dinner?" (In a quizzical tone, basically asking if I was going to make him come up with something. pfft!)

Me "I'm making mac & cheese."

Him "Home-made??"(Because I've made boxed so many times for dinner before?!?! I only make home-made for dinner....)

Me, "Uh, yes. Can you put the macaroni in to boil so it'll be mostly done when I get home. I'm trying to get the kids in the car."

Him "I don't even know where it is....."

Me "It's in the white cabinet-cupboard thing. When you open the doors, it's on the left, second shelf down."

Him "what does it look like? I don't even know what I'm looking for."

Me "It says Elbow Macaroni."

Him "What?!? What is that?"

Me "It's macaroni, It's just called Elbow Macaroni. I don't know. There are 2 boxes, one is open, 1 isn't. I need 4 cups. Use the rest of the box that's open, and fill in the rest with the un-opened box."

Let me just state-I see my error now. I said more than 1 sentence, and confused him. But, I do have blind faith in him that he will get something right some day. I love him, it makes me dumb.

Him "wait, use the 2 boxes? I'm confused."

Me "NO! I need 4 cups. Use the open box, and then fill it up the rest of the way to 4 cups with the other box."

Him "Okay, I'll do it in a few minutes."

Me "Okay, see ya."

I should have known he heard "blah, blah, blah, 2 boxes. blah, blah, blah, see ya." 'Cause when I got home and was making the sauce, I went to throw the butter wrapper in the trash and saw BOTH empty boxes in there. That, Ladies and Gentlemen, was 4 pounds of macaroni that my wonderful-but obviously partially deaf hubby put in to cook. I just bought a 3 lb. box of the pasta that was supposed to last the whole month! I gasped like a dramatic movie actress, and did my best "I'm-really-trying-hard-to-not-swear-at-you-right-now" "Alan.......why are both boxes in the trash?!?!" He looked confused, from his comfy chair (he didn't even bother to get up, must have thought my gasp was from his TV show!). "I said I needed 4 CUPS, not 4 Pounds!" (I said this sternly, but not mad, because I knew it was my fault) He got mad. I ignored him. And now we will be eating Macaroni noodles for the next 2 weeks. Anybody want some?

I actually accomplished something today! I had the boys clean up with me, since they just started having actual cleaning being expected of them, and the house was a mess. I tried to get them to do it before, but they obviously didn't get the memo, because it was always a lot of fighting and moaning to pick up a few things. Now, they get their trip to the park threatened. That got their attention! Plus we split it up-Ben is in charge of picking up: toys, books, dishes. Nick has to do: clothes, blankets, and shoes. Nathan has trash. Every week we will switch them around so they are picking up something different. Miles has taken it upon himself to quickly undo what they have done. He's very efficient at it. He is also very adorable, so they don't get mad at him, they just put the stuff back. I wish I had that "cute" card to play. So, they picked up, and I helped a bit, and when I was done vacuuming, I took pictures as proof that I do actually clean. Plus, if it looked horrible when Alan got home, I had evidence that I don't sit around eating bon-bon's! One great side effect of them cleaning is they don't mess it up so fast because they know they'll have to clean it.  Don't get me wrong, it still gets messy-it just takes a day or so before you almost break an ankle tripping on stuff.

Oh! I totally did that today! The whole place was clean- and I was walking in to ask what they wanted for lunch, and I stepped on a toy that Miles (of course!) had left right in front of the fridge. I slid like I was wearing wheels or something, could have done some fly moves if I'd had any warning! I literally slid-like a foot and a half before forcefully bracing myself on the doorway to the family room. Not very graceful, but I didn't spill any of the water I was walking with! I did bruise my arm up pretty good from where I slammed it, but I'll live.

Alright, I'm going to go to bed. Mom and I are taking the boys "garage sale sight seeing" tomorrow, and I have to have them up early. It's been fun talking at you. Goodnight, all!

Do you remember the time................No. No, I don't.

How many times in one day does it take for you to realize you need toilet paper in the bathroom, after you've already sat down to go? 3, apparently for me. Do you think I have rectified the situation, and walked my happy butt out to the laundry room where the huge Costco package of toilet paper is yet? That would be a no too, because I just thought of it again as I sat down to type. What have I been using all day when this has happened to me? Kind of a personal question to ask, don't you think? Pervert. But, since you asked, I'll tell you. I have an emergency supply of those flushable baby wipes hidden in my bathroom, because this same situation has come up one too many times, with the kids out of earshot, and me stuck on the loo. (I am part English, and that is what my people call it!) Don't tell them or Alan if you see them, because then I would really be out of luck and that's not something I want to think about. I'm not really sure why this particular conversation would come up, but you already asked about what I used to wipe with, so I have no idea what you choose to talk about with others. Maybe you could learn a little something about "personal boundaries", but what do I know? I'm just covering my butt-so to speak.
 
Now that that's out of the way........How was your day?

Today's projects. Miles' is on the end, Ben's holding it for the camera shy baby.

It's Tuesday, so it was Art Class day! I did remember to bring my camera today, but did not remember to take any pictures. If you read my blog, this will not surprise you at all. We made dream catchers, and though the Mom's and I did a good chunk of the work, the kids were all pretty happy with the outcomes. My children's are proudly displayed on their bedroom walls, except for Ben's. His is in the Family Room, where he is planning to sleep, I guess. So not gonna happen.

We also did this at Redwood Park, which is a new park-to me, and I love it! It is close to home, and the equipment is all pretty new. So no bird poo, swearing teenagers, throngs of out of control children (even mine were on their best behavior!!), and there was a mom there that was blowing bubbles for our kids while we were otherwise employed. It was awesome. Alan even took the boys there again tonight. They loved it, and I am glad that we had the chance to find it.

I don't remember going to the park a lot when I was a kid. If I wanted to play on a playground I had to walk on my own 2 feet *gasp* the Mile or so up the road to Ayers Elementary. Like I didn't spend enough time there as it was. It was a much safer time back then, so seeing a few 7-8 year olds walking along the road at all hours of the day wasn't out of the norm. Today kids expect to be driven to the park all the time, and it seems like you are guilty of neglect if you don't take them. I feel like I'm almost spoiling my kids, but I'm probably just jealous that I didn't get this done for me. It's like we used to torture my little brother, Adam when we would see my mom doing things for the "baby" that she never did for us. Driving him to school, picking him up from school.....I don't think he realized what legs were even for until he was out of high school. He never had to take the bus, and know the struggle of just getting to school alive. With the overcrowding, missed stops because the driver "forgot" to stop after you rang the bell indicating you'd "like to get off please!!", or the serious B.O. that could knock out an elephant, and is so common among kids in Middle School who's parents either never introduced them to a shower or a stick of deodorant! He will never know that pain, so my brothers/sisters and I took it upon ourselves to let him know his place. He was the youngest after all. I used to tell him that "he'll never get away with anything, or do anything original because all of us have thought of it/done it before him-so don't even try. (Ok, so I wasn't always the shining pillar of society that I am today.....) I feel like my kids will become like the horrible kids I see all too often around town if I keep giving in to their every whim, so maybe for every park trip I should take away something from them, so they don't get too spoiled to manage.

"Oh, you want to go to the park? Well, you will have to give up your bed, and sleep on the floor for a month."

"What? Another park trip you say? How about no toilet privileges for the rest of the day? Sound fair?"

Hmm, maybe not. Maybe I could just indulge this little part of childhood so they can look back and remember that I wasn't always the mean mom who said "No". That sounds a little better. What do you think?

Gute Nacht, all! ( No, I'm not German, but given the English reference earlier, I feel very multi-cultural all of a sudden)

Wants vs. Needs

I have been thinking so much lately about the difference between "wants" and "needs" mostly because looking at my checkbook makes me sad. I walk through the store and see things on the shelf I'd love, pick them up, stare longingly at them, and put them back because I don't need them like I need the food, diapers, wipes, and whatever else I am there to get that day. I daydream about how nice it would be to be in a house that has matching furniture, big rooms, a dishwasher, disposal, and central air. Growing up, I always just assumed I would have these things. I was not even aware houses didn't automatically come with them. Our dishwasher broke down when I was younger, and we went about 7 years without one. After doing all those dishes for 11 family members, and countless friends, I vowed to always have one. Now, here I am-in a house that doesn't. We get by, but this is a part I'm having a hard time with. I want a dishwasher and disposal, but I don't need it I suppose. We are surviving just fine, but still-this would make me very happy.

I really, really want a minivan. I long to have a car that could fit myself, my husband, and all 4 of my kids in it at the same time! I would love to not try and balance out how bad we want everyone to go with how much it costs to put gas into 2 cars. We don't really do "family" stuff, because of the lack of room for 1 of those family members, and I don't like that. I miss being able to go somewhere and not have to haggle over who is staying home, and who is going. Yes, I totally want a mini-van, but is this a need? No, not yet, because luckily we have 2 cars, and they are both currently working. And in this economy, getting that van is absolutely not a possibility. Too bad though, this would also make me very, very happy.

I want/need a job. I hate that Alan is working 6 days a week, and we are barely making enough to pay bills. I hate that I am capable of working but there are no jobs that I am qualified to do & are hiring. This IS in fact a need, but a frustrating one. I need a job, but am having zero luck with the job hunting. I need more money coming in so we can make sure everything is paid, and maybe-just maybe have something left over! I am about ready to start handing my resume out to anybody I see, and beg for them to employ me. "I'm hardworking! I am a very fast learner! I have lots of experience! Just give me a chance!!!" I'm bordering on desperate, can you tell?

I want to live in either Joanne Fabrics or Michaels. I could do crafts whenever I wanted, and would have every supply at my disposal. I feel like every evil scientist television has ever shown, when I daydream about this one. Standing there, wringing my hand together and doing my best evil laugh, while thinking about the crafting possibilities. It would be awesome. I know this is by no means a need, but I like to want this.

I want the kids to stop fighting, whining, arguing and doing anything they shouldn't. Life would be so much smoother, and I would be like a Disney Princess-walking around happy, singing and laughing all the time. I think that would be such a nice change from the frustrated, frazzled mess of a person that I am now. I want this one so bad, I could taste it. I'm also hoping that this want becomes a need just by sheer force of my desire, because needs you can pray for, wants are frivolous and chances are slim that you will actually ever get it.

(This is the closest my kids will ever be to acting like angels.)

Wants, wishes and dreams are all healthy I think. They keep our minds going, and give us something to hope for. Have you ever had something that you wished for, and thought there was no way you'd get it-only to be surprised by someone giving it to you? This has happened to me a few times. I don't expect anything to come of my wants here, but I like having them. Something to look forward to possibly owning one day. And sometimes you want things that you look back on, maybe a year later and ask your self "why?" It's all just where you are at that particular point in your life. Silly thoughts make me feel better sometimes, just like the fairy tales I heard growing up. Nobody ever really marries a Prince/Princess, but it's sure fun to think about when you're little.

And as for needs, I am going to do my best to make them happen. Watch out Employers of Grants Pass, I am coming for you!