Wants vs. Needs

I have been thinking so much lately about the difference between "wants" and "needs" mostly because looking at my checkbook makes me sad. I walk through the store and see things on the shelf I'd love, pick them up, stare longingly at them, and put them back because I don't need them like I need the food, diapers, wipes, and whatever else I am there to get that day. I daydream about how nice it would be to be in a house that has matching furniture, big rooms, a dishwasher, disposal, and central air. Growing up, I always just assumed I would have these things. I was not even aware houses didn't automatically come with them. Our dishwasher broke down when I was younger, and we went about 7 years without one. After doing all those dishes for 11 family members, and countless friends, I vowed to always have one. Now, here I am-in a house that doesn't. We get by, but this is a part I'm having a hard time with. I want a dishwasher and disposal, but I don't need it I suppose. We are surviving just fine, but still-this would make me very happy.

I really, really want a minivan. I long to have a car that could fit myself, my husband, and all 4 of my kids in it at the same time! I would love to not try and balance out how bad we want everyone to go with how much it costs to put gas into 2 cars. We don't really do "family" stuff, because of the lack of room for 1 of those family members, and I don't like that. I miss being able to go somewhere and not have to haggle over who is staying home, and who is going. Yes, I totally want a mini-van, but is this a need? No, not yet, because luckily we have 2 cars, and they are both currently working. And in this economy, getting that van is absolutely not a possibility. Too bad though, this would also make me very, very happy.

I want/need a job. I hate that Alan is working 6 days a week, and we are barely making enough to pay bills. I hate that I am capable of working but there are no jobs that I am qualified to do & are hiring. This IS in fact a need, but a frustrating one. I need a job, but am having zero luck with the job hunting. I need more money coming in so we can make sure everything is paid, and maybe-just maybe have something left over! I am about ready to start handing my resume out to anybody I see, and beg for them to employ me. "I'm hardworking! I am a very fast learner! I have lots of experience! Just give me a chance!!!" I'm bordering on desperate, can you tell?

I want to live in either Joanne Fabrics or Michaels. I could do crafts whenever I wanted, and would have every supply at my disposal. I feel like every evil scientist television has ever shown, when I daydream about this one. Standing there, wringing my hand together and doing my best evil laugh, while thinking about the crafting possibilities. It would be awesome. I know this is by no means a need, but I like to want this.

I want the kids to stop fighting, whining, arguing and doing anything they shouldn't. Life would be so much smoother, and I would be like a Disney Princess-walking around happy, singing and laughing all the time. I think that would be such a nice change from the frustrated, frazzled mess of a person that I am now. I want this one so bad, I could taste it. I'm also hoping that this want becomes a need just by sheer force of my desire, because needs you can pray for, wants are frivolous and chances are slim that you will actually ever get it.

(This is the closest my kids will ever be to acting like angels.)

Wants, wishes and dreams are all healthy I think. They keep our minds going, and give us something to hope for. Have you ever had something that you wished for, and thought there was no way you'd get it-only to be surprised by someone giving it to you? This has happened to me a few times. I don't expect anything to come of my wants here, but I like having them. Something to look forward to possibly owning one day. And sometimes you want things that you look back on, maybe a year later and ask your self "why?" It's all just where you are at that particular point in your life. Silly thoughts make me feel better sometimes, just like the fairy tales I heard growing up. Nobody ever really marries a Prince/Princess, but it's sure fun to think about when you're little.

And as for needs, I am going to do my best to make them happen. Watch out Employers of Grants Pass, I am coming for you!