Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I need to be sleeping...

The adorable cause of my sleep deprivation.

My wee one has been sick lately, and has been doing his best to keep me up at night. ALL NIGHT!! He likes to wake up every 10 minutes or so, just to cough, cry and go back to sleep. Sometimes he will throw in a cough that sounds like he's going to puke all over the bed, so I am scared awake-propelling myself towards him at the speed of light, only to discover that it was a false alarm. AND that he is back asleep already, whereas I am now wide awake thinking about how he better not puke on his bed because the blankets are in the washer waiting to be dried from the last time he actually did throw up, and how I had forgotten to dry them. And how I really should get up and put them into the drier while I am thinking of it, but I don't want to walk across the freezing house in the dark, because then I'd really be awake all night. Slowly I drift off to sleep, only to repeat the pattern as soon as his little body senses a dream starting up in my head. It has been about 4 straight nights of not getting any sleep before 6 am, just to be awake by 8 or 9, because he is wide awake thanks to the older, louder children. Thanks to the lack of sleep, I have been in a constant zombie-like state, and ravaged with massive headaches thanks to the complete exhaustion.

Then a miracle happened last night. He fell asleep around 8:00! I was sure he would wake up any time, so I started to make a stuffed animal for my friends daughter that I have been putting off. Only around midnight did I realize that he was still out, so I tried to hurry up and finish what I was doing and get in bed. Didn't happen. Things always take longer than I think they will. I was finished with as much as I could get done by 1:45, so I cleaned up and crawled into bed. I put on a show that I was interested in, since I fully expected to be up again in a few minutes-and pretty much passed out. Next thing I knew Alan was calling me at 6:35 to say the bus didn't show up. I told him to call the "bus people", and texted him the number. Then passed out again. It's a good thing the bus did show up, even though it was 25 minutes late and caused Alan to be late to work, because I was sleeping hard! I wouldn't have heard the phone if he did call back. I didn't wake up until Miles woke me up by throwing his bottle at my head. Good Morning, indeed!

It was wonderful to get some sleep....finally! But I'll be danged if I haven't been yawning all day long! If you talked to me on the phone, it wasn't you-I swear! I am still feeling seriously sleep deprived, and yet here I am 12:10 in the a.m. and I am blogging. Miles fell asleep about 9:30 and has been out since, and I am supposed to be up by 7:45 to get ready to go somewhere with my friend. I have no idea when I will have the chance to post another blog for a while, so here it is! Now that this is done, I bid you all adieu-and say goodnight!

I plan on sleeping tight, and hope he does too!

Sunday, November 21, 2010


A long time ago I told my kids that they were not allowed to swear until they were 30. This was because I had a little guy who overheard some naughty words somewhere, and LOVED to yell them at high volume, during some very inappropriate times. He thought it was hilarious. I didn't, so this rule came to be.

Me "You are not allowed to swear until you turn 30."

Nick "Can I be 30 on my next birthday?"

Recently while at my mom's house, my son Nick overheard my sister (who is 28) swear. He asked why she could swear, because she isn't 30 yet. I said that being a mom ages you, so while she is 28 in "real" life, she's really 35 in "Mom" years. Then he asked why I don't swear, because I'm older than 30. I told him that I just choose not to. He didn't like this answer, and quickly informed me that he was definitely going to swear when he is old enough. (Sigh) Little boys, and their goal for life.

I only bring this up, because as we speak, Nathan and Nick are in the kitchen arguing about why "Dad can swear vs. why Dad isn't allowed to". It's very entertaining. I agree with both of them because-even though Alan is allowed to swear-he's not allowed to swear at me. Not if he knows what is good for him.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Ok, When Did This Change???

There are certain things in life that you are taught as a youngster, that you just take for granted are true then, and always will be. I never questioned things that were taught to me in science, because frankly-I thought that scientists knew their stuff. But as I learned with the whole "Pluto is not a planet now" fiasco, I should've picked up on the fact that things aren't always so concrete.

I was putting the boys to bed last night, and watching 'Sid the Science Kid' with them. It was all about rainbows, and what makes them, and prisms, and stuff. They teach, they sing.....the kids eat it up. But when the teacher started singing the song about the order of the rainbow colors, I was all like, "What the H?!?"

I was raised thinking that the rainbow looks like this......

Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple. All colors accounted for. Good job, Me.


Her version in the show was like, " Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, INDIGO, and Violet too...."

Surely this couldn't be true. This was the second kids show I had some across this on, though. I saw the rainbow on Max and Ruby, and just thought they were taking their artistic license a bit far, but who was I to complain? Then here comes, STSK and I was like "Hold on.....I need to check this out...."

So I googled it. This is what Wiki.answers.com has to say.......

ME: What are the colors of the rainbow?

In: Science, Meteorology and Weather [Edit categories]
The Colors Of The Rainbowwww.webcrawler.com

Always remember the name ROY G. BIV (a clever way to remember the order of the rainbow.....)


Seriously?!? When exactly did this change? Why weren't those of us who were mis-informed, told? I remember the episode of 'The Smurfs' where the color yellow was stolen by Gargamel, and the smurfs were all in an uproar because they couldn't have their rainbow festival with out YELLOW!! They didn't mention the absence of Indigo, even once! Doesn't the scientific community owe an explanation to us, that they led astray all these years? I guess not. And isn't INDIGO really another name for 'dark blue'? Does it really deserve it's own spot in the rainbow? I don't hear any complaints from pink. Or puce, or even mauve for that matter. Pretty selfish, Indigo......

Well, I am here to tell you that there is apparently another rainbow now people. The good old simple 6 color rainbow from your childhood is no more....so please....no more drawing incorrect "*bows or arcs of prismatic colors appearing in the heavens opposite the sun and caused by the refraction and reflection of the sun's rays in drops of rain". You can't claim ignorance anymore when drawing a picture. Please, for the love of all that is Holy...Draw it right!! Kids are aware of this, and they can be pretty mean. Go ahead, ask your kids the order of the rainbow colors. I'd bet they are aware of this.
This just doesn't look right to me.

Like the website says......
"Just remember Roy G. Biv". Although, I'm not entirely sure why that is supposed to be a catchy phrase/name.

* Online dictionary definition for rainbow

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Great Toy Migration...

I have let the toys in my house go so long without weeding through and giving any away, that when I actually think of going in and sorting them, I get so completely overwhelmed I can't even stomach the thought of going through with it. (It really is that bad.) But, I saw Toy Story 3 about four times this past week, and it lit a fire under my butt and made me want to do this. I definitely feel more in the mood to tackle this horror, and move this stuff onto new kids that will enjoy them, now that my kids have moved on. Now is the time!

Also, my friend Kirsten decided that since this is a tough year for everyone-money wise-that we should all sort our stuff, and have a "Girls Night Out-toy swap meet" where what's old is new again (to each others kids'). It's a completely fantastic idea!

My problem is, my boys have a way of mutilating almost everything they touch. They are toy serial killers! "Sid" from Toy Story could be based on my boys and what they do to their stuff, I'm not kidding. I have had 7 bags of garbage, and 1 bag of goodwill stuff. I only have a small pile of stuff that looks new-ish enough to give to another kid for Christmas morning. I'm not done though.....I still have a few more places to sort through. But, since I have been at this for 5 hours now, and I am ready to scream in horror at the sight of another toy, I am quitting for the night.

I am happy to know that this toy room will finally be unpacked, and sorted for the first time since we moved in (in MARCH!!). This is reason enough to keep on cleaning tomorrow. Plus, I have sorted through most of the toys, so there really isn't much left to throw on the ground and mess up. It's awesome!

My friend Erica has been getting her kids toys and things from garage sales since this summer and packing them away for Christmas. Another brilliant idea! I plan on making some of the presents I am giving, and I'm actually pretty excited about the one I'm making for my brother, Adam. I drew his name and have a genius idea (that I can't share on here in case he actually reads this), but trust me.....genius.

How are some of you coping with the holidays coming up? Any money-saving tricks you'd like to share?

Swap meets of your own? I'm interested to see  how creative people are getting this year.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Is It Worth It?

The photo element of this Blog, really is one of my favorite things to play around with. What do I do then, when it goes from happily uploading many, many wonderful pictures at a time-to uploading only one at a time, all the while taking 3-4 minutes per picture-which may or may not even upload correctly? Now, I must actually have something interesting to say, since I don't have cute pictures of my kids in their Halloween outfits, my visiting family having fun playing board games, or even random bizarre pictures I find on-line. A blog where the entertainment factor is based almost entirely on what I have to say is a scary thing. Brace yourself-entertaining or not-until this photo uploader stops being stupid, my words are pretty much what you are going to get......I apologize in advance.

Lately I have come to realize how easy it is to fall into that "comfortable" stage in the marriage. Where you get so used to having the other person there, and doing what you need to do for the kids & your day to day life, that you put your partner to the side. There is always tomorrow, right?

"Comfortable" is awesome in clothes-I would have mine no other way. "Comfort" food is delicious, and brings back warm, fuzzy memories while it adds the loving inches to your butt and thighs. "Comfy" blankets are great to snuggle up in when the weather turns colder, and the rain starts to fall outside....but in a marriage, "Comfortable" is a dangerous place to be. It's so easy to get too comfortable, and start taking the other person's contributions for granted, and wonder why they aren't helping out more? You feel like nothing you do is recognized, and then you begin to feel taken for granted as well. You feel like you could just disappear, and nobody would be upset until the food didn't get made or you weren't there to find the homework that someone was told repeatedly to put away, and of course didn't-so now it's up to you to find it-again! Yes, I found out that while comfortable is a good thing, for the most part.....it can lead to some pretty  uncomfortable situations.

I love Alan. Really love him. Yet, while I love him-there are days where I don't like him so much. This is normal, I hear. But I had a really bad day, a few days ago. One where I really was wondering, if all of this is worth it. I was feeling particularly unloved, under-appreciated, and very lonely. When I tried to talk to him about my day, I was repeatedly told "I didn't ask you that", or just cut off in the middle of my sentence so he could tell me I was wrong. I snapped. (I have to say- I was unknowingly PMS'ing pretty bad that day, but I can sure pull out the drama from time to time. I am only female, and I just can't help it. It's in my DNA.) Anyway, after hanging up on him for the second time I just stopped answering the phone all together. I started thinking about how I wasn't happy. And it seemed that my not being happy stemmed from Alan's complete dis-respect of my feelings. I started weighing the Pro's and Con's of the "D" word, and really spent the day thinking hard about if I want that for me, Alan and the kids. By the time Alan got home, I did my best to avoid him, because I was still not sure I had the strength to talk to him without being totally irrational, and saying things just to hurt him. By midnight, I was calm enough to talk. I had decided that I did want this marriage.  It is worth it-but things had to change. I refuse to be ignored. I refuse to have him cut me off, mid-sentence like he does all the time. I want him to show me he loves me, and appreciates me. I need attention. This is a hard thing for me to acknowledge. I always thought I didn't need much, but as I get older, I am now coming to find out I really do need to be shown affection and recognized from time to time.

All of that being said, I do realize that I am not the perfect wife. His most common complaint is that I don't clean enough. To this I just get defensive, and say that there "isn't much point, since the kids mess it up too quickly when I do clean, and how is he to know when I do it or not?" This was more of an issue than I knew. I do clean, but not as much as I should, because honestly-I hate it. I loathe it. It does feel pointless, and the kids give me grief when I try and get them to do anything. I figured, I did enough during the day raising the kids that the housework-while it (randomly) got done-could wait.

I would much rather do things with the kids & spend time with them, than spend my time cleaning. They would remember the time I spent with them more than if the house was clean or not. But I didn't take into account Alan's feelings on this. It's a lot easier to not clean when you hate it, than do it just because someone else wants it done. I mentally revert back to the bratty little kid inside, and automatically don't do it because it's expected. This is wrong. Also, very immature.

So there I was, at midnight, strong enough to finally talk calmly-and Alan was asleep on the chair in the front room. He was totally avoiding me too! We really haven't slept apart our whole marriage-even while fighting. We usually just do the "I won't face you, and don't you dare cross over onto my side of the bed" game. Then we wake up refreshed, and over it. So the fact that he was in the other room, was saying something! I walked out, woke him up and told him we needed to talk-"can he please come in to the room?"

He did, and we sat down and had the most open, honest, heartbreaking talk we have ever had in our marriage, and it was wonderful. There were plenty of tears (all from me, go figure), lots of telling what we wanted out of being married, and also telling what we felt we weren't getting....but most of all, no yelling. We pointed a few fingers, but we both sat and listened to what the other one had to say-no matter how bad it made us feel, and we came out of it knowing how much we loved each other, and how there is a reason that we are married to begin with. We vowed to do the things that the other wanted, whether we felt like it at the time or not. We were going to try.

Here I am, a few days later, and I am doing so much better! He is showing affection to me-in front of other people-which is a huge thing for him! He has been saying 'Thank You' for things that I do, and he is listening when I talk. I don't feel like he doesn't care, and that is huge for me. There is a much happier, content feeling around the house. We are putting each other first, and though I may not feel like cleaning, I am. The house has been much cleaner the past few days, and he is grateful for that. Plus it just makes me smile knowing that I can do this small thing for him. He isn't asking too much, I realize that, and I choose to do it now. I am trying to put these horrible rebellious feelings away, and concentrate on what I want in life, and what it will take to get me there. I am trying to stop thinking about what I feel I am missing, and try to make others happy, and in doing so-I don't feel like I am missing anything! It's such a simple concept, but a difficult one to live. Selfishness is way easier to practice than selflessness.

I know this is a pretty personal thing to be sharing on here but, this is what I have been going through. I appreciate my sister Holly for talking (texting) me off the ledge-so to speak. She told me to just get space, and calm down so I can think things through with a clear head, which I did. I realized that Alan wasn't the root of my unhappiness, I was. I just needed to admit it to myself, and move on. I do want to be married to Alan, not because we have a comfortable life.......who does in this economy? I want to be married to him, because I love him and he is most definitely worth the effort.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I've Been Busy.......

With a month like this.......

My blog has sat, lonely and abandoned. I hope to be better in November.